I don't want to miss a thing

How lucky am I? This is a question I ask myself almost constantly lately. I am lucky enough to be surrounded by such smart people! I went to a pot luck Labor Day shindig tonight with a group of friends. Smart Friends! Every time I hang out with these people I learn something new that translates into me being either a better human in general or more importantly, a better mother.

Tonight I spoke with a darling mother of four great kids and I learned that maybe I was normal! Wow! Normal. Maybe my mothering dilemmas were no different than countless other women out there. We were talking about the brain damage kids seem to get the moment they turn into a teenager. Seeing as she started down this exciting path years ago and I have only begun this journey into the unknown (Hunter is 13), I latched on to her like some sort of groupie and soaked up of every bit of sage wisdom she was throwing my way.

This woman is one of those super moms who looks like her life resembles Donna Reed or Carol Brady in some way. For some reason I thought that she, similar to the TV moms of the past, must know all of the right things to do in any parenting situation. She began talking about some of her parenting tricks that worked and some that didn't work and I realized that maybe it was normal to have no idea what you're doing. Maybe it was going to be okay if I didn't always say the all the right things at all the right times. We talked and laughed about forgotten homework and misplaced lunches. We bragged about how lucky we were to have teenage boys who still liked us and didn't mind being around us. We remarked that maybe this should worry us and then decided it was a blessing and we should embrace it. We laughed about all of the insanely forgetful things they do and how we find ourselves saying things like "Did you put on deodorant today?!?" or "Don't forget to use shampoo when you wash your hair!" You would think they would care if they stink. But they don't.

Someday they will. . . right?

Then I started asking about her life now that all of her kids are in school. I told her how I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with myself when Connor started kindergarten next year. And then she said something I already knew, but desperately needed to be reminded of. I can't remember it verbatim, but it was something like this, "They grow up so fast, eight years goes by in a blink of an eye. . . and I don't want to miss a moment." She talked about the fact that despite her master's degree and talent in her field, she chose to work at her own pace doing charity work for no profit so that she is able to engage her mind while still being a full witness and participant in her children's lives. She reminded me that before we knew it, our kids would leave us forever and all of that precious time we got to help them discover who they are would be gone for good.

I am so grateful to have this reminder. There are still thousands of things I want to do in my life. I still want to have something just for me, but I am no longer in a hurry to find out what that is. I remembered that helping to grow my children is not a race. There is no prize in just getting it done. The reward is in the journey. I don't want to look back someday at these few years of mothering I have in front of me now and wonder what I might have missed while I was looking endlessly for what I was supposed to achieve. My mind will still wander. I will still dream. But maybe now I will let my dreams come to me in their own good time. I feel assured that my list of aspirations would be fulfilled both in the present and the future, but not all at once.

As I watched my kids swim and tease and laugh I felt a peacefulness inside telling me that I have plenty of time to achieve my personal dreams. Suddenly all of my restless thoughts seemed to fall into a quiet line inside my head. At the front of the line was the most beautiful dream of all. The dream I am living right now. . . Being a mom.

And I don't want to miss a thing.

I think that's an Aerosmith song. They're smart too.